Day 192 - July 10

Ok, I have a lot to say today. I'm going to condense it down as much as possible.

First, in keeping with the theme of last night's picture, 17 years ago today, Jason and I both walked through the archways at Chase Hall and started our journey(s) in the Coast Guard. I can't believe it's been that long. Holy cow.

Now to today. This picture is pretty crappy quality. I should've thought to take it when it was light out instead of 10 minutes ago. Oh well.

Jason brought me home some sunflowers today, to bring a little sunshine into my world. My day started off REALLY badly with the news that my midwife has broken her arm in five places, needs surgery, and will not be seeing any patients for the rest of the month, at least. Yeah. I'm due in two weeks.

I felt a little better after talking to her shortly after my minor (major) panic attack at the front desk at her office this morning (I showed up for an appointment I didn't end up having), but I'm still not in the best place. She is literally the only provider in this whole town who is fully supportive of VBACs (vaginal birth after Caesarean), which is how I'm planning to deliver Yellow, so not having her there - or potentially not having her there - is pretty devastating. Not to mention the fact that I now have to see some random doctor for the remainder of my prenatal care, and potentially have the "fight" about not doing a c-section early, not worrying about if I go over 40 weeks as long as me and Yellow are both doing fine, and all the other things that I trusted my midwife to be totally up front with me about, but I know can be an issue with some of the other OBs in the practice.

So Jason brought me sunshine in the form of my second favorite kind of flowers. He's a good man, that Jason. I think I'll keep him!

Meanwhile, if you're the praying type, please say a prayer for my midwife - that her surgery goes well tomorrow and they're able to piece her poor arm back together. And another one for me and this whole situation, that whatever the plan is for how Yellow is supposed to come into this world, it all works out in the end. I truly believe that God was at work in leading me to my midwife in the first place, so I still feel that she is supposed to be involved in Yellow's birth. But the unknown is so difficult, and having zero control is nearly impossible for me to handle! So prayers are appreciated!!